The Highs and Lows of an Emotional Rollercoaster

I haven't experienced an emotional rollercoaster like this since I was a spotty teenager. When I took on the challenge of the Waterford Adventure Race I never expected the highs and lows that come with training, for what is for me an unprecedented event. And what is even more unexpected is the pace at which they follow one another; how elation and despair can be just moments apart. It’d wear you out, to be honest.
Let’s start with the lows. It kind of goes without saying that these are hard to take. It’s that creeping feeling that it doesn't matter what I do between now and May 21st, I'll never be able to finish the event. It's my panic-stricken mind reminding me that I have never been an athlete, never competed in anything other than a three legged race in high infants, and even then I lost miserably. Those are the lows.
The highs on the other hand are marvellous. They come at the most unexpected moments. Yesterday for instance I was climbing the hill up past the Cats' Bar in Mellary on the bike, and I didn't think I was going to die, my lungs weren't going to explode and my legs were not knotted in cramp. I thought to myself I can do this! Those are the moments I crave. But like in life, those moments in training are fleeting and elusive.
It’s all I think about these days. The race, the route, my times, minutes per mile; the different disciplines revolve around my mind like clothes on a fast spin in the washing machine.  Can I do it?  How long will it take? Will I make a holy show of myself?  Will I have a heart attack and leave a widow and three children with no dad?
But then there’s the physical difference in me. I am definitely getting stronger. The gut is getting smaller all the time. The chest is getting harder. Tonight I ran seven miles around Clonea and Ballinacourty at a pace of 9 minutes a mile. Six weeks ago I was struggling to run three miles at a 10 minutes per mile pace. That’s progress and that’s good. But is it good enough?  See, that’s what I mean about the highs and the lows, and you got them  both there in two neat five word sentences.
I haven’t managed to get a spin in the kayak yet. That may well turn out to be my Achilles’ heel.  Under five weeks to go to the race and I still have no concept of what the hour or so on the water is going to be like. I had better get my skates on, or more accurately, I’d better get my life jacket on.
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